I brought my 3 year old son to shul with me yesterday afternoon when I went to daven mincha. I don't take him often because he is a bit noisy (even his whisper voice is very loud), though I keep thinking that next time he won't be so every now and then I try again.
So we start mincha and I am saying shmoneh esrei. At some point I closed my eyes to concentrate. A moment later he asked me, in a very loud whisper voice, why I am sleeping. I started to laugh. Then he asked me again, and he even closed his eyes and said "why are you sleeping like this?"
I couldn't keep a straight face anymore and had to finish up and step out...
BS"D
ReplyDeleteIn general, if a child will disturb, it is better to leave them at home most of the time. But in our community, we aren't like that most of the time. Children need the exposure to shul. He is 3? Well..the age of education. He is now really grasping that he is learning brachas, and what is going on.
Granted, one's most intense kavana while standing in front of the Ebeshter, can at times be diminished (G-d forbid) b/c of the questions. But he was asking about your davening, not where's the chocolate, right.
May you continue to raise this beautiful son in Torah, Mitzvos and G'melus Chasidim. And may you always have yiddishe nachas from him.
Linkletter couldn't have collected the jewels we Yidden get to collect!
IMHO, unless you know your child can sit quietly the whole time, 3 years old is probably not old enough for shul.
ReplyDeleteIf you do bring him, be near the exit, and be prepared to leave as soon as he starts making noise, even in the middle of your own shemone esrei.
I know, and I usually would not bring him. but mincha is short enough that he could technically do it, and I wanted to get him out a bit. I sat near the exit and as soon as he started disturbing we stepped out (bringing him along is a great excuse to leave shul early!)
ReplyDeleteBS"D
ReplyDeleteNice...an "excuse to leave shul early" lol. At that age, they are running back and forth between the men's and women's sides anyways. But mincha - you are IT.
It is good to bring him every one in a while - It helps get him used to it. And sitting near the door in case of "trouble" so you can make a smooth exit..good idea.
Even though, too, on the women's side, I find it somewhat distracting at times, I'd rather have the kids making their shul their home than not. Women, though, in general, don't bring the little ones for just that reason. Plus - if you're running after you kids, and another one needs a change and some food - how much davening can u get done? At the holidays (when they should hear shofar - regardless of age), and thing like that.
Some shuls have an area where the kids can go. Then they can run in and see mom/dad - and run out again. But they are still at shul.
Rafi I think it's perfectly fine to attempt to bring a kid for a good, short shul experience periodically, and partly to see if the potential has improved.
ReplyDeleteBut Sarah Leah before advocating it as part of their chinuch, it's worth considering the alternate view: it's actually bad chinuch to bring kids to shul when they're still of an age to innocently develop a casualness toward bad behavior in shul.
In the Rebetzin Salinger parenting course - based on a survey of today's Charedi Rabbanim - she says 6 years old is the average age to expect a child to behave properly in shul.
Why are you sleeping....ROFL! That is precious. I wish my kavana looked that good ;-)
Kids in shul can always be unpredictable.
ReplyDeleteA couple of weeks ago my wife brought my three year old for the end of Mussaf, I'm a Cohen so he accompanied me to the Duchan for Birkat Cohanim, but had me on the floor laughing when he peeked out from under my Tallit and said "Peek-a-boo"
BS"D
ReplyDeletePeek-a-boo. Why are you sleeping? Our kids are observing - they are learing, B"H>