Rabbi Lipman Responds On The Women Tallit and Kotel Mechitza Issues

This post has been written in response to my post yesterday about the issue of moving the mechitza at the Kotel to divide the space more equally between men and women..

A Guest Post by Rabbi Dov Lipman

Thank you, Rafi, for offering me the opportunity to respond.
  

Let me begin by stating that I appreciate someone being intellectually honest and saying, "I agree regarding the mechitza issue but not about the tallit issue." That is very mature and I hope you will join in any efforts made to change the policy regarding the mechitza. We do not have to agree about everything. I applaud the approach of agreeing to disagree but still respecting one another. 

And now to explain. I am not in favor calling women all over the world to being wearing a tallit and my wife and daughters will not wear a tallit.  But, numerous experiences over the last few years have led me to understand two things:  

1. We cannot give extremists even an inch of space to flex their muscles 
2. We have to start thinking about am yisrael.  

I will start with number 2.  When I was in the United States a few months ago, I met with one of the leaders of the Orthodox community.  He explained that 20 years ago, Reform and Conservative Judaism were insignificant.  Orthodoxy was alive and vibrant and Reform and Conservative held little clout and had no real future.  That has changed.  Why?  He explained that it is 100% percent because of the stringencies and extremist policies which are taking hold in the Orthodox world.   

People who used to feel welcome and more at home in Orthodox circles no longer feel that way and they are looking for a religious home.   This has become glaringly true in Israel where these movements did not try to make inroads – even when they were very strong.  But now, they are on the rise in Israel and are creating serious challenges to the religious establishment.

If we think about am yisrael for a moment, there is something we can do about it.  If we find ways within halacha, I emphasize WITHIN HALACHA, to make all Jews feel comfortable, then on the issues where we cannot compromise they won't make a fuss.  If we allow people to use any rabbi they want for a burial where there are no halachic issues at all, then they will respect the demands to kiddushin to be done according to halacha.  If we work to make conversions more lenient, ACCORDING TO LEGITIMATE HALACHIC OPINIONS, then they won't demand that every one of their conversions be accepted.  We are am yisrael and we have to find a way to work together even if we disagree and this can be done.  

The same with the tallit issue.  Until 2001 there was no law against talitot at the Kotel.  Were there masses of women flocking to the Kotel with a tallit?  No!  And that could make it easier to deal with some of the more stickier issues which may violate halacha.  I believe that we can repeal the law regarding tallit and other practices on the women side and actually meet with these groups about a compromise to insure that halacha is kept at that site.  

Am I advocating that women should start wearing talitot?  No.  But Tosfot, the Rosh, and the Ran all said that women can wear them and make a bracha as quoted by the Rema before he suggests that they don't so why make an issue out of it?   Let's embrace Jews and make them feel more comfortable and work together to make compromises which still conform to halacha.

Which leads me to point #1.  Why is there such a policy at the Kotel?  We all know that the average graduate of Mir or Ponovezh could not care less about a woman putting on a tallit at the Kotel.  So, who does it bother?  Extremists.  Let me begin with a story which a madricha from MMY wrote to me this week.  She took her students to the Kotel on Friday night.  The girls were bothered by the fact that they had no space and they could not hear anything from the men's side.  So, to give the girls a good experience, she brought them back later, after the seuda, when women weren't even davening there and, on the women's side (not right next to the mechtitza) they had a kumzits.   What was the result?  Men threw chairs at them!  Yes, threw chairs at them.  This madricha does not have an "anti-Charedi" bone in her body so let's not turn this into a discussion about that.  She and the girls were in shock.  How can anyone think they have that type of control where they can begin throwing chairs at young women? The answer is, they have been given the feeling that they have control!   

Let's go back to Bet Shemesh for a moment.  Grown men on  a street verbally assaulting 8 year old girls?  Yes, they were given a sense of control from the Mayor and the Haredi political leadership.  Think about it for a moment.  Israeli flags fly in Beitar and Bnei Brak.  Why?  Because the average chareidi, even if he is not a Zionist, knows that he lives in the State of Israel and it is normal for the government to put up flags around its Independence Day and they respect that.  But, the Mayor chose not to fly flags near the extremist areas.  I emphasize, NEAR their areas.  I understand and respect not flying them in their neighborhoods.  But not anywhere NEAR them?  This gives them the sense of control.  It makes it THEIR territory.  And, if it is THEIR territory they can police how people act, including little girls.  

The same with the Kotel.  Who made the demand to make tallitot forbidden at the Kotel?  Extremists!  The average chareidi does not care.  Once that law passes and they have control, they then feel empowered to throw chairs at young, religious women who are innocently singing in a group on the women's side.

And that is why the issue of the mechitza and tallit are linked.  Think for a moment what will happen the first time they try to move the mechitza to take away space from the men's side.  The average person, chareidi or not, would not flinch.  But the extremists will riot.  And no one wants a riot.  So, they control the site.  And they, through UTJ and Shas, control religious policy in the country.   And that is what I hope to change and what Am Shalem hopes to change.  Halacha?  Yes.  Chumros?  No.  Unity?  Yes.  Polarizing Judaism and distancing fellow Jews?  No.   

So, I believe we should change the law.  I don't think we should be asking women to start wearing talitot nor do I think women will start doing this en masse once the law is changed.  I simply believe that the Torah world is alive, well, strong, and unthreatened and, therefore, we should seek the lenient path in halacha - IN HALACHA - to make more Jews feel welcome instead of pushing them away.  I believe that is what the Ribbono Shel Olam wants from us at this point in time and I believe that this will save our future as a people.

You want to disagree with me?  That is your right.  But make sure you prepare your answer for the Ribbono Shel Olam when he asks you why you didn't find ways to proactively embrace more Jews and create more unity.  Have your answer prepared for when He asks why enforcing stringent opinions regarding bein adam lamakom was more important than following lenient, but acceptable halachic opinions while being strict bein adam l'chaveiro and saving Jews.  You have an answer?  Fantastic.  If you don't, give it some thought.

The time has come for us to have open and honest discussions about real issues without the venom and vitriol which has become all too common and serves no productive purpose. 

 

   

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