lack of dignity is the worst part of the baby story

The story from the other day that knocked a lot of people for a loop is certainly upsetting. The story was about a premature stillborn baby. In this instance, the father insisted on burying the baby rather than leaving it to the responsibility of the hospital and chevra kadisha. The father was upset that the chevra kadisha was going to be following its tradition (while claiming it as actual halacha) and not allow the parents to participate or know where the grave would be. Somehow, it is unclear who did this, the baby was placed in a cardboard box and given to the father with a sense of leave us alone, go deal with it yourself. Obviously this was very upsetting, and was turned into a big story.

I am not upset that the chevra kadisha wanted to follow its protocol and tradition. Tradition is very strong, especially in Jerusalem and especially with regards to matters of mourning and death. They make exceptions to their rules, but they are not that common and only in unique cases.

This could have been such a unique case warranting an exception, but I am not going to judge that.

The main thing they did wrong was act with lack of sensitivity to a grieving parent. Whether they were going to make an exception or insist on keeping tradition, they need to do whatever they do in a way that is more sensitive to the families they deal with. I am sure being a part of a chevra kadisha is very difficult - dealing with death and mourning all the time cannot be easy - and brings about delicate situations. The chevra kadishas should be highly sensitive to these situations and families, and whatever they decide to do in regards to the various traditions involved, the decisions should be made and conveyed with respect and dignity.
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