A couple has been married for 7 years They originally married as secular Jews with a Jewish wedding ceremony. The husband was an air force pilot and after he finished his regular service he started to show interest in religion - he started off with putting on tefillin regularly and eventually increased his adherence to shabbos, kashrus, and more.
The wife, a special ed teacher, claims he is reigning terror in the house with his religious demands. He denies it saying that demanding their child wash netilat yadayim in the morning or that he make blessings on his food is not terror. Demanding they keep shabbos or that they get rid of the destructive televisions form the house is not abuse or terror.
Husband claims their wedding was not even valid because while they were up there getting married and making brachas they were serving not kosher food to their friends.
He wants to get divorced or have the marriage canceled without having to pay her the ketuba or anything else.
Wife claims that the wedding was fine, the rav officiated at the ceremony knowing what was going on around them in the hall and the wedding itself was kosher. Not just that, they had an agreement from when he started to show interest in religion that he would keep it to himself and she would not bother him or prevent him from his religious interests, while he would not make demands of her and their child. She says he is now making demands in the house to have separate dishes for milk and meat and that she cant drive on Shabbos and must keep shabbos completely, etc. She says she is willing to be respectful in the house of his needs but she wants to continue driving on Shabbos with the child to go to the beach and to turn on lights, etc.
This is a tough situation and it is a shame that this is how it is turning out. Some people in these situations do work out a system of mutual respect based on their love for each other and find ways to continue to be happily married while respecting each other's needs. It certainly seems reasonable that it wont always work out for the best and his conviction to his religious needs, which sound like they might not be guided by rabbinic counsel all the time, might impede his continuing his relationship with his wife who is not interested in all that, and divorce could be a reasonable solution, unfortunately. That being said, he seems to be getting nasty about it. If he wants to move on because of his religious growth, just say so, pay her what is owed via divorce and stop trying to turn it all into her fault - he changed, not her.
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