Jul 11, 2024

beis din musings

I have had to spend some time recently in the building of the Rabbanut Beis Din in Jerusalem.

Yes, I have heard and read all the statistics of divorce rates always going up and reaching new highs, and even the divorce rates in the religious and Haredi communities climbing. 

It is different to see it yourself, with your own eyes.

The place is hopping, all the time, during business hours, with couples breaking up and going through the process. the days I have been there the crowd was even mostly Haredi (all types, Hassidic, Litvishe, modern, sefardi, etc). The couples were mixed between those only married for short times and others who were clearly married for longer periods. All types of people and couples deciding to get divorced. I am sure each has their story and i no way am I saying that any given case is not justified. I dont know their stories.

But it is sad/disappointing/upsetting/depressing to see.

And on that note, I was surprised to see that among all these couple going in for their hearing, and sometimes with the voices behind closed doors getting raised and becoming screaming matches, young 16 year old women are also sitting their waiting to declare themselves  as religious before a beis din to qualify for an army exemption. Must these young ladies really sit there among all these divorcing couples, have to listen to their arguments and even screaming while they wait for their turn?

The beis din should separate these young women and have them do their declarations in a different part of the building.

And there should be more discretion in the lobby of the discussion halls - divorcing couples and their families have to sit there waiting while the other side to the dispute is sitting just a few chairs away and they both have to sit there uncomfortably. And that's if they aren't screaming at each other. And everyone has to hear everyone else talking to the lawyer or talking to the soon to be ex or families talking amongst themselves... At what is surely a private and sensitive, and emotional, moment, the people should be given more privacy.


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4 comments:

  1. Agree 100%, had the same thought when I took my daughter to make a declaration, although fortunately at the time the Beit Din was much quieter, but why should young women need to make the declaration in the same location as divorcing couples

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  2. shaya goldmeierJuly 11, 2024 7:09 PM

    maybe clarify you weren't there because shifra was finally tired of you?

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  3. hahaa. That crossed my mind too. Back to the pt of this post - I think the reason why it never seemed to occur to the BD Rabani to separate between these diyunim is because they don't view divorce as something tragic or emotionally trying. It's just a complex game for them, and the q of who should be deemed technically religious is similar. The soul is missing in both!

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  4. Garnel IronheartJuly 12, 2024 5:17 PM

    I wonder if it's because of tradition - well in Poland we didn't have decorum and the system worked fine so...

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