Jul 10, 2019

Interesting Psak: Telling the chosson about her father's arrest

A young woman who got engaged asked Rav Yitzchak Zilbershtein, rav of the Ramat Elchonon neighborhood of Bnei Braq, if she has to reveal to her choson that her father is under house arrest, in the grandmother's house, for allegedly abusing his wife, her mother.

The father, ashamed of being discovered and especially by his future son in law, has ordered her to keep quiet about it. The kalla is concerned that if she does not tell her choson and he finds out on his own he might break off the engagement. The concern is also for after the wedding - she does not want to lie and is concerned he'll be upset if he finds out, while on the other hand her father told her to not say.

According to the report on Kikar, Rav Zilbershtein paskened that because her father ordered her to not say, she is not allowed to. Revealing such a thing against the explicit demands of her father would qualify her for the curse in the Torah of "Arur Makleh Aviv vImo - cursed is the one who hits his father and mother.



------------------------------------------------------
Reach thousands of readers with your ad by advertising on Life in Israel
------------------------------------------------------
at

5 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 10, 2019 2:50 PM

    Has the Chosson not met the father? Did they meet at the grandmother's house? Did they meet elsewhere because the father broke parole? Will the father break parole to attend the wedding? Will the wedding be at the grandmother's home? Will both parents attend?

    I don't see how the Chosson can't or won't know that something is up. This marriage is not starting out well, IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rafi G.July 10, 2019 3:56 PM

    it seems pretty definite he'll find out at some point. secrets like that just dont get kept, especially within the immediate family. and he's almost definitely already wondering about the strange situation

    ReplyDelete
  3. LI ReaderJuly 10, 2019 6:35 PM

    Here's the difference (one of them, at least) between a Rav and a Rabbi. Here the Rav gives a purely halachic answer and nothing more. A Rabbi would give the halachic answer (assuming there is only one), and then go on to help the family to think this through so the marriage has a chance of happening and being successful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Smash KernelJuly 12, 2019 2:30 PM

    Why is the issue of concern here the fact that he his under house and not that he is a wife abuser? Isn't the latter a bit more concerning and more "embarrassing"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rafi G.July 12, 2019 3:28 PM

      I think they go together. saying he is under house arrest would also entail saying why

      Delete