Featured Post
Free The Hostages! Bring Them Home!
(this is a featured post and will stay at the top for the foreseeable future.. scroll down for new posts) -------------------------------...
Jul 10, 2019
Interesting Psak: Telling the chosson about her father's arrest
A young woman who got engaged asked Rav Yitzchak Zilbershtein, rav of the Ramat Elchonon neighborhood of Bnei Braq, if she has to reveal to her choson that her father is under house arrest, in the grandmother's house, for allegedly abusing his wife, her mother.
The father, ashamed of being discovered and especially by his future son in law, has ordered her to keep quiet about it. The kalla is concerned that if she does not tell her choson and he finds out on his own he might break off the engagement. The concern is also for after the wedding - she does not want to lie and is concerned he'll be upset if he finds out, while on the other hand her father told her to not say.
According to the report on Kikar, Rav Zilbershtein paskened that because her father ordered her to not say, she is not allowed to. Revealing such a thing against the explicit demands of her father would qualify her for the curse in the Torah of "Arur Makleh Aviv vImo - cursed is the one who hits his father and mother.
The father, ashamed of being discovered and especially by his future son in law, has ordered her to keep quiet about it. The kalla is concerned that if she does not tell her choson and he finds out on his own he might break off the engagement. The concern is also for after the wedding - she does not want to lie and is concerned he'll be upset if he finds out, while on the other hand her father told her to not say.
According to the report on Kikar, Rav Zilbershtein paskened that because her father ordered her to not say, she is not allowed to. Revealing such a thing against the explicit demands of her father would qualify her for the curse in the Torah of "Arur Makleh Aviv vImo - cursed is the one who hits his father and mother.
------------------------------------------------------
Reach thousands of readers with your ad by advertising on Life in Israel
Reach thousands of readers with your ad by advertising on Life in Israel
------------------------------------------------------
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Related Posts
Has the Chosson not met the father? Did they meet at the grandmother's house? Did they meet elsewhere because the father broke parole? Will the father break parole to attend the wedding? Will the wedding be at the grandmother's home? Will both parents attend?
ReplyDeleteI don't see how the Chosson can't or won't know that something is up. This marriage is not starting out well, IMO.
it seems pretty definite he'll find out at some point. secrets like that just dont get kept, especially within the immediate family. and he's almost definitely already wondering about the strange situation
ReplyDeleteHere's the difference (one of them, at least) between a Rav and a Rabbi. Here the Rav gives a purely halachic answer and nothing more. A Rabbi would give the halachic answer (assuming there is only one), and then go on to help the family to think this through so the marriage has a chance of happening and being successful.
ReplyDeleteWhy is the issue of concern here the fact that he his under house and not that he is a wife abuser? Isn't the latter a bit more concerning and more "embarrassing"?
ReplyDeleteI think they go together. saying he is under house arrest would also entail saying why
Delete