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Oct 30, 2012

Amicable Divorce Turns Ugly Over Religion

What a crazy story.

What was an amicable divorce has turned ugly, and keeps going back to beis din (in Tel Aviv). The couple shared a happily married life with a strict haredi lifestyle. The husband went through a process, over time, in which he changed his lifestyle and left the haredi community. He stayed religious, but that change along with some others caused a fallout in his relationship with his wife. Eventually it even led to a divorce.

The divorce, as mentioned, was amicable. The division of assets was done in a friendly and good-natured manner, with the husband agreeing to pay for their 3 children's education, and the two agreeing on raising their children with a stress on showing respect for both of their parents. They even agreed to allow the kids to see the father whenever they would want to, in addition to the twice weekly and every other weekend they would be with their father.

Shortly after the agreement was signed and then approved by the beis din, the ex-wife reneged on everything she had agreed to. She didn't let him see the kids at all, and he found himself powerless to do anything about it. Eventually he filed suit in beis din, demanding they fine her tens of thousands of shekels for breaking the visitation agreement.

Her response? Why won't she let him see the kids? Because she is concerned that his non-haredi beliefs will affect their lifestyle, and they will be distanced from their own haredi community because of it.

According to the report on Srugim, the beis din is trying to come to a decision as to how to deal with the case, whether to fine her or not, and how to work it out so that the kids will be able to visit their father in a reasonable way.

Wild. Whatever level of religion he decided to keep or not keep, she should have no right to make such a decision to prevent them from seeing each other. Especially doing so in such a devious way, where she cooperated fully to get him to pay for everything, while promising him fair visitation and  then not keeping her side of the agreement. he is their father as much as she is their mother, and he should be allowed to see them and have a relationship as well.


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10 comments:

  1. Great mother: besides being a liar, if she got any money from him based on this agreement, she is a ganeff, because she got it on false pretences (and a father can not be forced to support his children according the the Halacha).

    ReplyDelete
  2. As dlz alludes to, it's simple. No visits, no money. Or is Israel enough like the US where the father can be forced to pay child support?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I dont know about being forced, but once there is an agreement/decision, he has to pay. to the point that if he withholds the child support, she can get his accounts locked with liens...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But isn't the agreement dependent on both sides fulfilling their parts?

      Delete
  4. Without having read the article, there's always the possibility that we're not getting the full picture here, no? Not that she should be able to prevent them from visiting him but if, for example, it turns out that he spends all his time with them trying to tell them what a ridiculous life they live as Charedim, you can understand where she might be coming from. Again, it's very hard to judge these stories w/o the full picture.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Without having read the article, there's always the possibility that we're not getting the full picture here, no?

    If - as you freely admit in the first five words of your comment that you have not read the article - why are you expressing a self-admitted opinion born of ignorance?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because I assumed that even the article might not be providing the full picture. They rarely do. I should've read the article before posting. Now that I have, I can definitely say that there's no way to know whether you're getting the full picture or not. The fact that only the attorney for the husband is quoted doesn't help...

      My point was that it's ridiculous to judge either side on the basis of such a small amount of information

      Delete
  6. your title is wrong. the divorce didn't turn ugly over religion. that is merely the club being used to batter the other side. had it not been religion it would have been something else.

    ReplyDelete
  7. not sure if that site is a reliable source, but I'd like to read the story from a Haredi site to get a balanced picture.
    josh

    ReplyDelete
  8. here is the bechadrei version of the article http://www.bhol.co.il/Article.aspx?id=45927

    ReplyDelete

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