Jul 10, 2011
New/Old Solution To Shidduch Crisis
I remember a while back there was a "pilegesh service" being advertised out of New York. Off and on over the years there have been several similar type services promoted, promoting either pilegesh or multiple wives.
I only remember seeing these out of New York, and I think they were almost always discovered to be a result of someone having trouble with a divorce and this was his way of pressuring his wife to be his ex-wife.
Now there is one running out of Israel. They claim to have the solution to the shidduch crisis, the demographic crisis and preventing "issurim" (I assume they mean shichvas zera l'vatala). The solution being marrying a second wife, and quotes Rav Ovadya Yosef from his sefer Yabe'a Omer that disputes any acceptance or chumra to accept the cherem d'Rabbeinu Gershom by sefardim, making this solution of marrying a second wife completely permissible for sefardim...
They leave contact information for those interested, and say they also can supply poskim that allow it for ashkenazim as well. To call, you have to have the agreement of your first wife.
I wonder how they get around the fact that polygamy is illegal?
I only remember seeing these out of New York, and I think they were almost always discovered to be a result of someone having trouble with a divorce and this was his way of pressuring his wife to be his ex-wife.
Now there is one running out of Israel. They claim to have the solution to the shidduch crisis, the demographic crisis and preventing "issurim" (I assume they mean shichvas zera l'vatala). The solution being marrying a second wife, and quotes Rav Ovadya Yosef from his sefer Yabe'a Omer that disputes any acceptance or chumra to accept the cherem d'Rabbeinu Gershom by sefardim, making this solution of marrying a second wife completely permissible for sefardim...
They leave contact information for those interested, and say they also can supply poskim that allow it for ashkenazim as well. To call, you have to have the agreement of your first wife.
I wonder how they get around the fact that polygamy is illegal?
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I am sure you could get around the illegality if you wanted (not that I would of course :-)). I am not sure how the law is worded but three people living together without being married has got to be legal. Therefore having a live-in pilegesh would probably work although I am not a lawyer to be able to say so definitively.
ReplyDeleteIn any case Arabs have more than one wife, so why shouldn't Jews? There's got to be the basis for a BaGaTz there.
If you look at the website advertised, they spend a lot of time discussing the state of polygamy (or bigamy) in the Baedouin society in Israel. Basically, there is only one legal wife - the other is simply a ידועה בציבור. My guess is that the legality of such an agreement is questionable (probably illegal) but the Israeli authorities don't have the manpower or willpower to get involved.
ReplyDeleteGood luck getting your wife's consent!
ReplyDeletePolygamy is legal in israel if a Beit-Din approves it. This was meant as a solution for husbands who's wives were incapebale of giving them a get (and this is actually the situation Rav Ovadia's Psak deals with).
ReplyDeleteI think this is a really good idea, and I talk about it all the time.
ReplyDeleteI would love having another woman in my family for company and for sharing the childcare and housework. And I would love to do something to help the shidduch crisis.
HOWEVER, I just cannot imagine the emotional can of worms it would open in my marriage. I can't imagine, as a woman who has only experienced monogamous society, how I would feel if the intimacy and exclusivity of my relationship was breached.
So practically speaking? Awesome. Emotionally? Eh.