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Jul 1, 2009
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Here is what looks like it might be an interesting documentary on the singles scene in Manhattan.
I am not sure what to say about it. It is easy to say "the reason for the shidduch crisis is x, y or z". Look at some of the people they spoke to, and you are not surprised they are not married. For example, the guy who says he knows exactly what he is looking for, down to the last detail including hair color, eye color, etc. But I do not know that from speaking to 5 or 6 people if one can come up with an actual analysis and explanation for it that is based in reality rather than anecdotal or subjective indicators.
(HatTip: PeskySettler)
I am not sure what to say about it. It is easy to say "the reason for the shidduch crisis is x, y or z". Look at some of the people they spoke to, and you are not surprised they are not married. For example, the guy who says he knows exactly what he is looking for, down to the last detail including hair color, eye color, etc. But I do not know that from speaking to 5 or 6 people if one can come up with an actual analysis and explanation for it that is based in reality rather than anecdotal or subjective indicators.
(HatTip: PeskySettler)
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Ko'ev Ha'lev - and the video didn't tell me anything I didn't know already.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like she spoke to more than 5 or 6 people; it seems to be a full length documentary. I don't think she's looking to point to a single answer as to why this situation exists on the UWS. I think she's looking to paint a portrait and get as many perspectives as possible. It looks like she succeeded.
ReplyDeleteIt does bring back memories and makes me grateful I got out when I did and came to Israel 9 years ago (and promptly met my husband 7 months after coming here, also after dating about 50 guys when I lived in NY.)
from the brief video it looks like they set themselves up completely to fail. Nobody really expects to meet anybody.
ReplyDeleteMakes you wonder why they all go there...
Hmm, I think you have to understand what it's like to grow up Modern Orthodox in order to understand how people end up living there.
ReplyDeleteI went to school and college with the idea that I would graduate, work, find a place of my own, date and eventually get married. But in the in between time between college and marriage, it was a given that I would live near my peers in order to date. I lived at home for a short time, but my parents did not want me living at home long term.
The idea is logical and seems to make sense, but I think in practice it has morphed into a problematic situation, but I think for other reasons, not necessarily because there is a pool of singles living near each other in a particular neighborhood. Honestly, I think it's because there are too many men and women who get caught up in a weird fantasy of what committed relationships are supposed to be, and then get too scared to actually go about having one. It's very sad, and I think it happens on both sides of the dinner date table.
The scene of them having a joint (Shabbat?) meal together is exactly as portrayed in the "S'rugim" TV series on Israel's Channel 2, which essentially deals with the same problem here among MO Israelis.
ReplyDeleteTo me it appears that Hashem is intentionally weeding out the Neshama gene pool. This is happening in plague-like proportions. It's as if there was some sort of poison in these kid's atmosphere.
Sha'arei D'ma'ot lo Nin'alu.
Dunno, I had a lot of great shabbat meals with my friends when I lived in the UWS and in Katamon. I really enjoyed them and the communities of friends that I had on both sides of the ocean. I'm eternally grateful that I did not get married any earlier than I did, cause then i wouldn't have met my wonderful husband.
ReplyDeleteI have a big problem labelling joint shabbat meals as Hashem destroying neshamas and "poison". I can think of a few worse things in the world than friends celebrating shabbat together.
I didn't mean the Shabbat meals were "poison". Perish the thought!
ReplyDeleteI'm talking about the big picture of so many young Jews not finding their soul mates.
I see my use of the words "soul mates" was poorly chosen at this time.
ReplyDeleteCommentator Abbi said it in the most succinct and eloquent way I have as of yet heard.
ReplyDelete"Honestly, I think it's because there are too many men and women who get caught up in a weird fantasy of what committed relationships are supposed to be, and then get too scared to actually go about having one."
Hazal say that Ben David won't come untill all the souls of the collective body (of Israel/Adam) have run their course", and so in this generation of ikveta d'meshisha we see the Satan working double overtime to keep people from getting married and having children.
The truth is, many older singles are simply not psychically ready to be married, whether they're aware of this or not. One problem is that most of the time they're not aware of this and so they create a kind of virtual reality world in which they are "looking for a match", but have sabotaged the whole process from the outset without realized it. And so it's no wonder they stay single. The problem is that instead of doing the work of getting to the root of the issues and getting ready, they unconsciously perpetuate this virtual reality driven cycle.
Abbi, according to imdb.com, it's a short film - all of 24 minutes.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt1188757/
ma inyan "west side" aitzel "life in israel"
ReplyDeletehmmm.. good question... maybe we can get them all to make aliya and move to Katamon!
ReplyDeletehow about to bet????
ReplyDelete