Dec 5, 2011
Rav Shteinman Explains The Shidduch Crisis
There has been lots of discussion and reasons given for the shidduch crisis. This is a novel approach that I never heard before to explain the crisis.
According to Kikar, some askanim from the United States of America went to Rav Shteinman the other day and asked about the shidduch crisis - why it is such a crisis, what caused it, how it can be resolved.
Rav Shteinman blamed it on the teachers in the frum schools.
Rav SHteinman did not blame the teachers in the way you might be thinking right now, they are teaching girls, or boys, to be picky, to demand x, y or z, to only accept this or that. Rather, Rav Shteinman explained that many of the girls [graduating from school in the frum community] become teachers. As teachers, there are times where they might not be careful enough with showing respect to their students. One comment out of place, or one comment that was said the wrong way, that is enough to cause a girl to be insulted and deeply hurt. That insult might cause a "kpeida" against the teacher.
Rav Shteinman said teachers should be very careful regarding the honor of their students, not to chalila hurt anyone. Such a kpeida is very serious and can cause girls to not find their proper zivvug.
According to Kikar, some askanim from the United States of America went to Rav Shteinman the other day and asked about the shidduch crisis - why it is such a crisis, what caused it, how it can be resolved.
Rav Shteinman blamed it on the teachers in the frum schools.
Rav Shteinman said teachers should be very careful regarding the honor of their students, not to chalila hurt anyone. Such a kpeida is very serious and can cause girls to not find their proper zivvug.
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I guess R' Shteinman doesn't read the Mishpacha magazine in Hebrew, there the crisis was blamed on boys demanding a lot of money.
ReplyDeletehe probably doesnt read it because its been banned...
ReplyDeleteWell if I were a girl thinking of going into teaching...too dangerous!
ReplyDeleteReally Mishpacha was banned? Hadn't heard that. Say this explanation is correct - then what about the single girls who AREN'T teachers?
ReplyDeleteclearly they arent worth discussing as they are the minority....
ReplyDeletealso, what about teachers who did get married, or are already married - how does their lack of sensitivity to their students affect them if they are already married?
So let me get this straight: it's their own fault they're not married, because they are not sensitive enough. They should be more submissive to the "needs" of their students. Or maybe they should not have jobs at all? Sit at home all day with no income and no support until Hashem decides they are "sensitive" enough?
ReplyDelete(I have many friends who are suffering from the "Shidduch Crises." And yes, I am telling them to stop being religious and find a man who will respect them for who they are and not their clothing size or cooking abilities. "Keeping the faith" and waiting has gotten them nowhere, and they're constantly having to listen to Rabbis like this one claim they aren't "sensitive" enough. Sheesh. Pot, meet kettle.)
Actually I think Rav Shteinman's statement will be a boon for the adult women's learning programs....
ReplyDeleteNote that from Kikar the implication is that the kepeida can harm the teachers, not the girls, contrary to what I assumed when reading this article.
ReplyDeleteAlso, R' Shteinman is stating a cause that is common to a large percentage of the girls, but obviously not all or even the majority of them.