There's an old joke that women are like computers.. there are actually several versions of this joke, and some of them are less "kosher" than others..

Anyways, as the jokes go, here are some of the ways in which computers are like women (I left a few out):

• They are expensive.
• They are never specific about problems.
• They are difficult to figure out and crash inexplicably about once a month.
• Try to shut down one part and the whole system shuts down.
• Extremely complex. Must learn a lot to work with it successfully, and you keep on learning.
• If you do not do the necessary maintenance, you have to wait a long time for it to open up.
• It actually works better when handled with care.
• Once you think you have figured out something, always surprised to find that there is something else.
• Never forget to save or it may be lost forever.
• Never give up on the first, second, third tries - you'll get it.
• And those help screens - you have to know something before they can really be of any help.
• It runs better when it is up-to-date.
• The more time you spend with it the more rewarding it is.
• Sometimes the system jams. Give it more space.
• No matter how it looks, it's what's inside that counts.
• Even your smallest mistake is stored immediately in memory, only to be a problems later on - when you're not expecting it. 
• Their internal language - that they use for communication between the two - NO ONE else is able to understand but themselves. 
• When you've finally decided to have one you'll know you spend lots of money on accessories for it. 
• Anyway... you have to admit the fact once you've had one you wouldn't like to live without it.

There is a new way in which women are like computers..

According to Kikar, some (at least one major one, for now) frum newspapers are now starting to blur/pixelate out computers from their images, just like they do with women..



The picture is from the city council meeting in Elad, and while Hamevasser (the Shlomei Emunim affiliated newspaper) printed the untouched photo, Hamodia (the Gur/ Agudas Yisrael affiliated newspaper) scrubbed out the computer..

A Guest Post by Dr. Harold Goldmeier

MK Rachel Azaria (Kulanu) has proposed a law that will make it illegal to publicize information and details about people who have been killed or injured before publication has been officially sanctioned. The law would be specifically relevant for security incidents and times of war. In recent events, information was spread over social media and at times immediate family members first heard about the loss of loved ones via social media rather than from official sources.

Violators of this, if it passes, will be subject to 50,000nis fine - even if no damages can be proven. If it can be shown there is intent to cause harm, the fine would be doubled to 100,000nis.

The proposal has passed its initial vote with 86 in favor 0 votes against.
source: Kipa

I started keeping kosher.. Rabbonim have allowed me to put in my mouth food that is mixed with meat and milk, but not to swallow, though not to do that with shrimp and pork..

  -- Michal Ansky, gastronomist and food journalist, and Master Chef judge

pretty cool.. though it is based on an assumption rather than knowledge...

also, I love the penguin romping around behind him..

Azrieli Group Revealed Tel Aviv's Next Icon: "The Spiral Tower" - the Tallest Tower in Israel -The new tower will be part of the Azrieli Center complex, joining the circle, triangle and square towers which have come to be the symbol of the city of Tel Aviv -This unique tower will rise 350 meters and span 91 stories, and will contain commercial, office, residential and hotel space; approximately 2.5 billion NIS will be invested in the tower's construction - The tower's planning was entrusted to the international firm Kohn Pedersen Fox (KPF), which is responsible for the design of five of the ten largest skyscrapers in the world - Danna Azrieli, chairperson of Azrieli Group: "The architecture of the Spiral Tower is a reflection of the boldness and creativity that embody the Azrieli Group, which redefines Tel Aviv's skyline with each new project. The exceptional financial investment in the project constitutes yet another testament to our great confidence in the Israeli economy and its growth, and a continuation of the strategy that has lead us in building the country for over three decades." TEL AVIV, Israel, Dec. 19, 2018 - This morning, the Azrieli Group headed by chairperson Danna Azrieli, revealed "The Spiral Tower", which will be built on the property where the mythological Beit Yediot Ahronot stood for decades. The tower will constitute part of the Azrieli Center Complex, which today includes three towers - a circle, a square and a triangle. The new tower will rise to a height of 350 meters spanning 91 stories and once completed, it will become the tallest building in Israel. Excavation and deep foundation work is already underway at the site, and construction is expected to be completed within six to seven years at an estimated investment of 2.5 billion NIS. The tower's planning was entrusted to the international firm Kohn Pedersen Fox (KPF). The firm specializes in, among others, increasing the role of large buildings in the urban space, and are responsible for planning five of the world's ten tallest skyscrapers. In attendance at the celebratory reveal event, which took place today at the Azrieli Group offices, was architect James von Klemperer, President and Design Principal of KFP, and architect Moshe Tzur, owner of Moshe Tzur Architects Ltd., who serves as the project's Israeli architect. "The Spiral Tower" symbolizes a new urbanism that includes a wide mix of purposes (mixed use) in a tower with around 150,000 square meters which will contain, among others, commercial space, along with offices, residences, and a hotel. Six underground parking levels, covering an area of 45,000 square meters, will be built at the base of the structure, in addition to a commercial floor connected directly to the light rail. As part of the tower's construction, the Azrieli Tel Aviv Mall will receive a significant addition of 13,000 square meters, bringing its total area to 50,000 square meters. The tower was planned and developed in a unique geometric shape, never before seen in Israel, which captures the eye and the imagination. The main challenge for the initiators and architects was to create harmony between the three iconic towers that form Azrieli Center and the new tower, an impressive, one-of-a-kind structure which stands on its own. The tower's design takes inspiration from the twists of a snail's shell, attempting to imitate their natural form. The design also draws inspiration from ancient biblical scrolls and the way they unfurl upwards. All these led to choosing the spiral shape as the central motif in the tower's design, in a way that will resemble a scarf winding around the existing base and three towers, and continuing like a scroll ascending around the new tower. The tower's peak will include space for conferences and meetings, recreational space, and a 360-degree view of Tel Aviv and the surrounding area. The expanded Azrieli complex will create the only traffic artery connecting all the diverse means of transportation around it: from the bus lines that stop at the entrance, to the direct passage between the Hashalom Train Station and the Shaul Hamelech light rail station, which will be incorporated in the new build so that the light rail station will open directly into the expanded Center. Given the anticipated activity of the light rail's Red Line, it is predicted that approximately 100,000 people will pass through the center every day once the project is completed

The Economics Committee of the Knesset has approved the law proposal, to now move forward to the Knesset for final voting, regarding the advertising and marketing of cigarettes, and now including electronic cigarettes such as the now popular JUUL (and others).


The proposal moving through the system would only allow advertising cigarettes and e-cigs in printed newspapers and magazines, but not anywhere else. Additionally, the amount of nicotine in e-cigs would be limited, cigarettes and other smoking products would not be allowed to be on display openly. Additionally, the color for the packaging of cigarettes and electronic cigarettes would have to be uniform with the chosen color being Pantone 448 C - this color was voted, in 2016, as the ugliest color on the spectrum, and has thus been adopted by a number of countries as the color to be used for cigarette packaging in an attempt to make cigarettes less attractive to young potential consumers.

The proponents of the proposal, MKs Yehuda Glick (Likud) and Eitan Cabel (Hamachane Hatzioni) are proud of the accomplishment and are saying that the goal is to discourage young people from starting to smoke and to hopefully save the lives of thousands of people. Minister of Health Yaakov Litzman says that recent stats are showing that there has been a downturn in the level of smoking in Israel and hopes that with the passage that trend will strengthen and the numbers will drop even more.....
source: Globes

Israeli brewery, Alexander Beers, in conjunction with the farmers of the "Gaza envelope" region, have decided to produce beer from the wheat grown in the areas near the Gaza border that survived the recent terror attacks in which many fields were burnt to the ground.

There was so much destruction and the farmers were hurt so much by the destruction rent on their fields. The area produces almost all the wheat grown domestically - to the tune of about 175,000 ton per season on about 45,000 dunam of land. This year 7,000 dunam of land growing wheat went up in flames to the Gazan kite and balloon terror. Alexander Beers took the remaining wheat to produce the new line of beer.

The new line of beer produced form this wheat will be called "Bira Otef Aza" - Gaza Envelope Beer - and all the profits from the sales of the beer will go to the farmers of the area who have suffered so much from the terror.
source: Ynet and Kipa

I hope it will be sold locally so I can support these victims of terror by buying beer!

This is a wonderful initiative by the Alexander Beer people. Kol Hakavod!

החילונים יתערבו לאם השכולה שדורשת לא לערוך לבנה הלוויה צבאית, והחרדים יתערבו לאם ולרעיה השכולה שמבקשת לשרוף את גופתה. ככה נהיה בטוחים שמדובר באותו עם

— אלי ביתאן (@Eli_Bitan) December 19, 2018