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Mar 21, 2022

Interesting Psak: the kosher kiss, without waiting 6 hours

Rav Yosef Elnakaveh was formerly a rav and posek in the communities of Gush Katif. Since the Disengagement, Rav Elnakaveh lives in Yad Binyamin, is a Rosh Kollel and posek.

Rav Elnakaveh was asked a number of a questions about some details of kashrut and kissing. I think this blog is mostly rated PG, and I don't expect this post to change that. As they say, תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך - this is Torah and we must learn it.

The series of questions goes like this:
1. if a couple is having a meal with one eating meat and the other eating dairy (let's assume they are using separate placemats or tablecloths, etc), are they allowed to kiss?
2. How much time after eating meat must one wait to kiss the other if the other does not want to become fleishige?
3. If one was fleishige and 6 hours had not passed since eating meat (my addition, or 3 in the case of a Yekke) would kissing the other spouse affect his or her status and make him/her fleishige?

Honestly, before getting to the answer, to me the questions sound kind of silly, unless the kiss is super deep and super french-style, and even then....

On to the answer, as reported on by Kipa:
Rav Elnakaveh starts off by questioning the seriousness of the questions, suggesting the submission might simply be a Purim joke, but being that part of it seems serious enough and due to being unsure, he decided to answer the questions...

The Shulchan Aruch does not talk about halachos of kissing, though kissing is mentioned in Shir Hashirim. Using Rashi's explanation, Rav Elnakaveh shows that it is clear the kissing of a bride and groom, of married man and woman, is kissing on the mouth, rather than just kissing the hand or shoulder as friends might (maybe today shoulder would be replaced with cheeks - I have never seen a shoulder kiss that I can recall). Rav Elnakaveh goes on with some more kissing references before getting to the point..

More to the point, when two people eat together with one eating dairy and the other meat, they must have something to remind each other to not eat from the other person's food. I mentioned above different tablecloths or placemats but there are other options as well. Additionally, they are not allowed to drink from the same bottle or pitcher of water, lest some of the food from the mouth stick to the bottle and get imbibed by the other. Eating from the same loaf of bread is also a problem, for the same reason.

So, Rav Elnakaveh paskens that if you are eating together, one dairy and the other meat and you get so happy together that you wish to kiss, you should first clean your hands and wash out your mouth to avoid any doubt, even though you are not eating each other, but to avoid any doubt and you should be clean like the custom of the Persians to honor your wife.

And, taking it further, if you went ahead and kissed, without washing out your mouth first, the issue is very doubtful and it is likely you have not transgressed the laws of milk and meat together. And being that there is no eating involved when kissing, the concern of waiting 6 hours after the kiss is not relevant - with touching meat and milk you just have to wash off the surface, so wash out the mouth and hands, and new laws do not need to be formulated.

So now you know.




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