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Jul 20, 2017

the divorce over the cellphone

A divorce case in beis din between a haredi husband and wife revolved around the usage of a smartphone.

It seems the husband does not like that his wife allows their son to use a smartphone, and for that he is divorcing her.

Husband says boy (11 years old) is addicted to the smartphone, and it is his wife's fault.
Wife, a clinical psychologist, says boy is not addicted to the phone, but he simply uses it like any normal child. She says it enriches his life. He uses it for his homework, and he uses it all the time as any child does. He eats with it and he sleeps with it.

her claim that this is normative does not sound reasonable to me - she says he uses it like any normal kid, while he eats with it and sleeps with it. That isn't a sign of being addicted? especially for a young boy that does not sound healthy. If he isn't addicted to it yet, it is surely heading down that path.

Husband stands strong and says the smartphone is poison to intellect and to faith and it must be cut off.

Wife claims that even in parts of the Haredi community, filtered smartphones, kosher smartphones, are allowed, and she has this phone monitored and controlled as to what he has access to and what he does not have access to.

At some point Husband asked the neighborhood rabbi to intervene and pasken to the wife that she must cooperate and put the child in therapy to break the smartphone addiction. Wife refused the demand, said the rav should educate his own kids and not her's and that she won't throw away money on that.

This fighting over the child's use of the phone led to the filing for divorce. Beis Din so far isn't allowing it, as she wants to go through "shlom bayit" counseling and the husband also says she is a good wife besides for this specific issue. Beis Din therefore says that there must be a way to resolve the issue of the phone and divorce is not an option right now.
source: Maariv

It seems like divorce is the extreme nuclear option here, and in truth it would not even help, as she could still give her son the phone to use when he spends his time with her (whether it is most of the time or even if only half the time)...

It is a shame that a good marriage, that they both seem to say they have, has to be destroyed over such an issue and the two can't find a way to work out some sort of compromise...





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2 comments:

  1. Where would we be if every argument over parenting ended up in BD? Crazy world when people can't work these things out on their own, or with professional help. BD is not a marriage counselor or child psychologist.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is going to end up as a proof about the dangers of cell phones.

    ReplyDelete

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