Apr 27, 2009

Housing Committee: Problem Solved

The committee dealing with the issue of avreichim marrying off their kids without going into debt by spending way too much money on apartments has been making progress. Under the direction of Rav Silman from Bnei Brak, they have worked out terms for avreichim to sign on - they will not spend more than $25000 for marrying off a son and no more than $45000 for marrying off a daughter.

In a recent development, the committee has come up with a new plan. The new plan is to set up a fund via which Jewish philanthropists from abroad will pay for "the rest" of the expenses, for any avreich who signs and commits to sticking to the limitation of the committee- the $25000 and $45000 respectively.

The idea is that any avreich committing to this is showing that he is not overextending himself by taking on too much debt. Such a person should have help for the other wedding expenses as well. (source: Mishpacha newspaper)

It kind of makes sense. If anyway the way the parents pay for the wedding is by traveling around the world knocking on doors to raise money to cover the loans they took out to pay for the weddings and apartments, and anyway donors from all over the world (combination of the $5 at the door to the gvir giving thousands) are covering that debt by donating to the parents knocking on their doors, there really is no reason to go through the middle stages.

I mean, why force them to travel and knock on doors? If they need the money, and the donors are going to give, this just cuts out the bother and expense of travel and fundraising. Now that they said they will pay less, they will still get the funding but without the bother. Problem solved.


  1. Are you sure it's not $25k for a son and $45k for a daughter - it's "supposed" to be cheaper to marry off boys.

  2. my bad. thanks. I fixed it.

  3. how can you take what is ostensibly a curse and call it a segulah?

  4. And how are they going to come with the 25k and the 45k?
    And what will happen in the next generation?

    The kindest thing to do is not to give these people any more. Better that the crash should come now than in the next generation. The longer it takes to come about, the harder it will hit.

  5. I agree with Yaakov that we have to stop feeding the habit, but if people are giving anyway, better that it be done without them traveling which would increase the amount of money they would have to raise and the time they would need to waste. Also, it is better if there is an incentive to spend less.
    Furthermore, it is much better to raise money before spending it than to go into debt and then try to raise money to cover it.

  6. Yes i'm also wondering how a family with 10 children is supposed to come up with 25 or 45 thousand dollars for each child.

  7. I wonder - if perhaps they commit to not spending more than that, they get the donations. Who says they have to spend that? Maybe they spend very little, say they will not spend more than 25k or 45k and get the whole thing covered.... I like this deal!

  8. CA,

    Well, you have to give a certain amount of money to marry someone's son or daughter, but the person who receives the money can use it to "buy" his next shidduch. Also, the price is not that high - if one family puts up a payola of $45K to marry off their daughter, and the mechutanim put up $25K, then, really, the girl's side only has to pay a net of $20K! Simple economics!

  9. people should give money to charities that feed genuinely poor people. not to support a lifestyle choice. genuinely poor people should receive money for hachnassat kallah. people who chose to never work and not to educate their children should not receive even one worn out agora of charity funds. gotta agree with yaakov here

  10. people should give tzedaka to whatever charity they feel is important and has priority. for one it will be feedign the poor, for another it will be cancer treatment, for someone else it will be torah study and for someone else it will be for supporting settlement construction.

  11. I was certain I detected a hint of sarcasm in the last few sentences. Given everyone's replies, now I'm not so sure.

    Given current economic conditions, I have no idea how anyone things this level of things can continue. And as a working man with what's considered a high Israeli salary (but doesn't net out that way), I can't imagine how I could possibly pay such an amount for my children.

    Somehow I always feel like the frier when I read these types of posts.

  12. Akiva - you seem to be the only one who picked up on it....

  13. I got it too. I hesitated when everyone else was taking it seriously, and i was second guessing myself.

    IF they are able to pull this off, it works like this. Lets say over 15-18 years, you have 10 kids, 5 boys and 5 girls. That means you commit to putting up $350,000 over the next 18 years. Sounds like a heck fo a lot.

    But if you are able to gemach it - or some of it - over 10 years, so its really $175,000 for 10 years twice. And if you take an even longer loan, say 20 years - its half that. Even with interest from a bank, it will be $400,000 over 25-30 years. Doable. Hard. But doable.

    Keep in mind that a) expenses go down as kids move oout of the house; b) the parents own mortgage is ending now or will be soon, freeing up soem more money; c) from what i understand, israelis dont support the kids at all after the intial dowry; d) many kids help the parents out if they are able to, thereby lowering monthly payments; e) often there is a yerusha somewhere along the way, and if not a yerusha, grandparents often help; f) some people sell small apts in yerushalayim or bnei brak, and buy 3 bigger apts in elad, kiryat sefer, beitar, rbs etc

    If you have less kids, say only 7-8 you "save" off the above amount 20%. So you have to borrom $280,000 and pay back of 35 years,

  14. I was hoping that I was picking up on sarcasm but after some of the comments I wasn't sure.

    This solution changes who is paying for the weddings but does not address the fact that the weddings are too expensive. Not going into debt by having someone gives you money doesn't really accomplish much towards what I thought the comitee was intended for.

  15. actually it does.
    1. they dont go into debt. instead of borrowing money then scraping collections to pay it back, they dont have to borrow
    2. instead of buying expensive apartments in jerusalem or bnei brak, they are committed t buying in the periphery - cheaper apartments. so expenses are going down.


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