Aug 8, 2010

Ama're needs to get some Jewish roots

The debate has been raging long enough. WSJ says Ama're Stoudamire is not Jewish - affinity for the Old Testament is just not enough to seal the deal. Ama're says he has got some Hebrew roots, even though he never had a bar mitzvah.

How are we going to make a decision on this?

Maybe we need to understand what Ama're meant when he said he has some Hebrew roots.

Marc Gold, of Gold's Pure Food Products, seems to want to get to the root of the matter. If Ama're claims Hebrew roots, Gold is challenging him to eat the root - real Jews eat horseradish. If he can handle the horseradish grinding room, or eat a forkful of horseradish on matza, along with not collapsing when a barrel of freshly ground horseradish is put right in front of his nose, he will be deemed a Jew.

Actually, that won't make him Jewish, but maybe an honorary Jew. Marc Gold will give him a lifetime supply of horseradish though...and a bunch more to the charity of Stoudamire's choice.. I wonder if he would choose an Israeli soup kitchen...

From CNBC:
That got the attention of Marc Gold of Gold Pure Food Products, which has been making kosher products for 78 years. Gold, whose company is the official mustard of the New York Mets and New York Islanders, has now issued a challenge to Stoudemire.

“If Amar’e is really Jewish then there is only one way to prove it,” Gold told CNBC. “How much horseradish can he handle?”

Gold said the challenge will include picking up Stoudemire from his home and taken via limo to Gold’s Horseradish plant in Hempstead, NY. Once there, Gold said he’ll be asked to spend 30 seconds “exploring his horseradish roots.”

If Stoudemire doesn’t burst out crying in the grinding room or after eating a forkful of horseradish on a piece of matzoh and doesn’t fall backwards after smelling a gallon of horseradish placed right before his eyes, he’ll win the challenge.
The payoff?

“We’ll guarantee Amar’e a lifetime supply of Gold’s Horseradish (red, white or extra hot cream style) for him and his family,” Gold said.

Gold said he’ll also donate ten cases of Gold’s condiments, including its mustard products, to a charity or food bank of Stoudemire’s choice for every Knicks win for the next two seasons. And Gold says he’ll step it up for the playoffs, which the team hasn’t played in since the 2003-04 season.

“We will provide twenty cases of mustard to the charity or food bank of Amar’e’s choice for each playoff win,” Gold said.

Even if Stoudemire doesn’t have the mettle to walk out of the horseradish grinding room without tears, Gold said he will still provide the Stoudemire family with horseradish to help celebrate Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, on Sept. 9.

2 comments:

  1. Horseradish? Piffle! I would try him on zhug!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Besides, you know how it goes: if he decides to sign up with Maccabi, no one will even dream of considering him non-Jewish ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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