I get pretty grumpy/cranky when I don't listen to any music, so during Sefirah I listen to acapella, as a compromise of sorts. There's no point in abstaining from listening to music entirely if it results in me being more argumentative and not getting along with the people around me.

I do hear your point about the entire issue of music during sefirah...considering how many loopholes/excuses one hears ("radio isn't live music", "private music (headphones) is ok", etc.), one might wonder why such a custom is so well-known.

i noticed this last year and was curious. but i guess not that curious because i forgot about it and never looked into it.

i await your findings. just let us know before sefirah!

keep checking the comments.. I am sure some learned person will give us the source. I hope people will find sources from before modern-day poskim.

If I recall correctly from the last time I looked into this, R Sperber has a piece about this in Minhagei Israel, in which he traces most of the 'additional' nihugei aveilus to the crusades. He developed this at much greater length, though, so it's worth a look. (Minhagei Israel is a great investment if you're interested in the development of minhagim; it's a 6 volume set published by Mossad ha'Rav Kook.)

anon:

the arukh hashulhan mentions that the sufferings of the crusades occurred during this period, but i did not see this in the other places i quickly checked.

if the minhagim actually date from that period, then why were they not mentioned in the SA or Rama (five centuries later), to say nothing of modern codes.

the arukh ha-shulhan and shulhan arukh harav do mention the prohibition of kelei zemer and rikudim in reference to shidduchim, and i guess from there we get our general blanket prohibition on music and other forms of entertainment.

also, they are up to vol. 8 with minhage yisrael

-ari kinsberg
agmk.blogspot.com

I discussed it with a few people including my rav. It seems the reason is that music is really assur all year round because of the destruction of the mikdash.
We happen to "be meikil" and generally listen to music.
So on sefira we are good boys and do what we are supposed to do and not listen to music because of the additional atmosphere of extra aveilus.

What about the three weeks? - I checked. It does not say anything about music there either. It does add there many other laws (like buying new clothes) but nothing about music. and my rav added that most poskim hold shehechyanu is fine during sefira...

I listen to music during sefirah and the 3 weeks. It ain't assur, and I'm not going to make it so.

It's one of the things that simply adds to my non-understanding of our behaviors religiously. If the whole inyan for "aveilus" now is the death of the talmidim of R' kivah, then how does anyone hold aveilus past lag b'omer - they stopped dying then!!! Theer is no way to justify such a minhag aveilus if the WHOLE minhag is based on a fact that happened different from your minhag!

So, yes, I listen to music, and I eat matzoh untill the dfay before pesach, I don't wear a kitel at the seder or at my chupah. I wait 3 hours between meat and milk. and yes, I have been called an am ha'aretz for such behavior.

ain't religion grand?

shaya-

why 3 hours?

rafi-

"I discussed it with a few people including my rav . . ."

but i still don't understand why the issue does not appear in the classic halakhah codes, and the few places it does appear later on is only in reference to weddings (or shidduchin?)

-ari kinsberg
agmk.blgospot.com

Ari - tthe minmhag for those of German descent is to wait three hours after meat before eating milchig. The source for the custom is a combination of the writings of Rebbe Yerucham who says to wait three hours, and the eating habits of the time where meals were spaced by three hours.

I agree the answer is not 100% satisfactory. I spoke to some people who told me the source is an addition much later. So it is still not really clear...

are you guys german? if not your brother can just go with 1 hour like the dutch.

i thought i remember learning that the classic mahloket is 1 or 6 hours. is the german 3 hours a later development?

-ari kinsberg
agmk.blogspot.com

we are yekkes (of German descent) and have most of the yekkish minhagim... the standard customs everyone has heard of are the 1 and 6 because those are clearly written in the shulchan aruch and tur. The German minhag was always 3 though.

I'm pretty sure it's just made up, just like a lot of other crazy things we do to make ourselves feel more machmir.

Oy, when "minhag" becomes "halacha" it just makes me sad.

Regarding the 3 weeks, see what Rav Ovadia Yosef says about it.

I don't understand why you have to wait at all. The torah says,"don't boil a calf in its mother's milk." sorrounded by other examples of cruelty to animals which should be avoided. How any of that became the modern laws of kashrut is completely beyond my comprehension and frankely I have never heard a reasonable answer from anyone on the topic.

So I don't wait at all. But I have never ever boiled a calf in its mother's milk.

I guess I maried a dutch woman! I gues the hint was all those wooden shoes she wears. Any way, in Tainnis, there is an argument about whether or not you can eat meat and drink wine erev T'B'Av. Nothing about 3 wks or 9 days. Eating matzo issues you raised aren't the only curious minhagim we adopted. H' gave us ten commandments and look what we've done to his reiion. Dad

dad - Hashem gave us 613 commandments. 10 of them He gave separately on the Tablets, sort of as a brief listing of them all. sort of like reading stza"ch ada"sh b;acha"b at the seder, I think,.