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Jul 9, 2006

what would you do?

I have a friend/acquaintance who runs a yeshiva somewhere in the US of A. I have recently stumbled across a couple of videos in which bachurim of his yeshiva (I have no idea if they are current or only formerly students of his yeshiva) make fun of the yeshiva. It is nothing mean natured or damaging to the yeshiva (I think). Simply harmless videos in which the bachurim satire the rabbeim and the yeshivas policies a bit.

If I send the link to my friend, these boys (if they still learn in the yeshiva) might get in trouble for this harmless fun. If I do not send him the link, maybe I am being negligent on the yeshivas behalf?

What would you do?


  1. What makes you think that he does not know about it already - I am sure you are not the first one to "stumble" across thses vidoes - especially if it is so obvious what yeshiva they are from.. I would not worry about it...

  2. you are right. he might already know about it...

  3. Why be a shtinker?

    For me that was one of the most unpleasant aspects of living and learning in a blackhat Yeshiva in Israel (one that I was eventually kicked out of).

    I was there solely to learn, but for some reason I stood out, and was therefore always being called down to the Rosh Hayeshiva's office for things I was completely not involved in (but was aware of). Simply put, someone was stinkering to the Yeshiva, but didn't know names, and I always got blamed.

    Maybe they did it for Purim? Maybe they did it because the Rabbi really didn't treat them fairly or nicely and they needed to let out some steam.

    Maybe it's none of your business and you simply shouldn't get involved.

  4. good point anonymous, and trueky that was my intial reaction.. I hope he never finds out about this...

    However, then I thought I am not a yeshiva bachur anymore and my loyalties do not lie with my friends, in the sense that I do not want to be a shtinketr on my friends inyeshiva. My friend/acquaintance is trying to run a yeshiva and make it into a good place for boys to learn and maybe my loyalties should lie with him. maybe by not telling him about something like this I am not doing my duty as a friend.

  5. Uh oh hope you didn't get the link from seeing it in my post. If it's what I think you should ignore it and not get them in trouble it's just a cute video no harm to the rabeim.

  6. I do not remember having seen it in your post, but who can remember where they followed links from anymore. I follow so many..
    anyways, I am not going to tell him..

  7. rafi - I thought those videos of me were buried...lol as you are well aware - we didn't have videos, but unlike mr. anonymous, I was called into the office because people always told on me. shoul;d you, shouldn't you, that's a great question. Believe it or not I think you should call him and say that you have seen something about his yeshiva and is he aware. tell him you feel it is not disrespectful and only harmless, but as a friend you have an achrayus to him to let him know.
    yes, you may find this weird coming from me, but I only disliked the snitches who participated, the regular rats I never held a grudge against.

  8. shaya g don't know why you feel it is necessary. I would venture to say that the rebbeim know. If it is on google then it is no secret and better to ask the actors themselves if they told the rabbeim. Always better not to go over someones head.

  9. Soc mom - I am bouncing back and forth. Rafi would not be "going over anyone's head" as he doesn't work there nor is he friends with the talmidim. The fact that it's on google is no proof the rebbe knows as he may not have internet access or may not do extra internet time outside of his immediate needs. Rafi is friends with the rebbe, not the talmidim, and has a kesher to the rebbe to look out for his best interests.
    I am not sure your thoughts are wromg either. There is validity to not being the tattletale. Heck, as I said, I was on the receiving end many times. BUT, replace the story parts with you and yyour daughter as the characters. B"H I have kids and I would want to know from a friend. Think of it in that sense - if it was you and your daughter.

    Just a thought, there is validity to both arguments.

  10. Yikes!!! If the Yeshiva as a "shakey" rep in the states or more bad PR will make serious parnassah problems for those working there, then I think you have to let your friend know that you heard about something on the web that some students did.
    With everyone and their brother claiming that they are "at-risk" these days, the bachurim might appreciate an honest sit down with your friend. Just because these kids did something doesn't mean they have to be kicked-out.

  11. I do not think I am going to tell him about it. Even if he himself did not find it, I think I can safely assume or rely on the fact that somebody else will tell him about it or have already told him about it.
    Also, it is a small yeshiva, so I imagine it is hard to keep something like that under wraps for too long (and they did a lot of the video in the streets and in the yeshiva area, so it was in the public eye), especially once it is uploaded to google.
    I would guess he knows about it. I would also guess the boys are either former students having a little harmless fun or current students, but that fun style might be the attitude of the yeshiva..

  12. If the rabbis dont have a sense of humour - they shouldnt be running a yeshiva for today's youth.

    The Catholic monastery in Beit Shemesh may be looking for some new employees.

  13. anon - lol

    On the other hand, did not Rav Steinman just recently go to America and tell Rebbeim at a Torah Umesorah conference that Torah should be taught al taharas jakodesh with nothing else (i.e. secular studies) mixed in and no playing ball (I would venture to say he would include making foolish videos in the streets as part of his list had he thought people would ever do such unusual activities)

  14. nu - so let's see the video - what's the link?

  15. there were a few but here is one of them....

  16. Shaya I hear your point and you hear mine so I won't go further. Again I am sure the rabbeim know about it anyway. The videos are funny and btw we may be talking about the wrong yeshiva for all we know lol.

  17. hey raf - why don't we just assume it was a prep for a purim shpiel and let it go at that. As long as they are not demeaning and hurtful - we'll all let it go and watch them and laugh....

  18. that's what I decided to do..

  19. Rafi,

    Your obligation is twofold,
    1- to your freind
    2- to be dan lcaf zchut to the boys.

    You can balance the two by pointing out the video to your freind while retaining his and the yeshivas dignity. You can qualify what you see by adding a line like "isn't this funny" or some such statement which will balance the two responsobilities.


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