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Oct 25, 2012

Headline Of The Day

Rabbi: Donating Sperm To Single Woman Immoral

  -- Ynetnews

To start off with, this headline, written as it is, made me laugh. I think it needs to be rewritten, as it seems to indicate that it is immoral to donate sperm to a single woman, but it is moral to donate sperm to multiple women.. but somehow I don't think that was the intention.

Besides for that, the issue is one that requires great sensitivity. The decision quoted leaves a point unanswered, I think. I get that in his opinion it is immoral to the child to raise him or her with just a single parent. One can agree or disagree, but I can understand the opinion.

The article says:

"There is an insolvable problem: It's immoral toward the child," Aviner stresses. "A child needs a father and a mother. That's how God Almighty created his world.

"We know that there are widows and there is also divorce – but that is a real tragedy. One must not organize such a situation in advance. There are also single mothers who had a child out of wedlock, but that is a given situation as well. But a child needs a loving father and mother."

And what about the single woman's distress? "We understand that the girl wants to get married and can't wait to give love to a cute little creature – but why create a single-parent family in advance? The child will be miserable.

It seems a point was missing. According to the answer, it seems as if Rav Aviner was under the impression that such arrangements are being made as a preferred method for these single women. As if they choose to be single and have children as single mothers. That is not how it seems to me. It seems to me that the situation is just about similar to the other examples listed, of widows or widowers and divorcees who have to unfortunately raise a child or children by themselves. The single woman getting older wants to get married and has spent many years looking to get married. She wants to raise her children in a traditional family unit. She has not, unfortunately, been successful, and has come to the point where she is concerned about her future, to the point that it has become now or never, and has decided it is time to move on regardless of the marriage situation.

I am not arguing with the psak. I don't know if the above reality makes it more moral or not, but at least it should be considered properly.

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  1. I think that from an evolutionary point of view, a decision to bring a child to this world should be taken by two parents: a father and a mother.

    Once we allow single women to raise their child via sperm donation, we should allow men, in the name of gender equality, to also raise their own children (via surrogacy). And then, in the name of equal rights, anyone wanting to raise a child should be granted the "right" to do so, no matter their age, psychological or mental situation.

    When we leave child bearing in the domain of two consenting adults, we have a natural selection process (sounds Darwinian, I know) that ensures future parents are somewhat fit to the responsibility. Fit enough to be chosen by someone to be a spouse/parent. There is a vetting process…

    1. Mentally ill people already have children. Abusive people already have children. There is no vetting process.

  2. Many Jewish men marry Gentile women or delay getting married at all. Perhaps the Rabbi advocates polygamy as a solution like Yaacov Avinu, et al. Think how well adjusted the children will be having a father and several mothers to raise it.


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