Jan 26, 2014
Interesting Psak: Stay by sick kids and dont sit shiva
The tragedy in Jerusalem in which 2 young girls died from poisoning and their brothers are still fighting for their lives has led to an unfortunate but interesting psak halacha.
On Thursday Shimon and Michal Gross buried their daughters while still accompanying their sons in the Schneider Hospital in Petach Tikva.
The dilemma of the situation is that the parents should be sitting shiva for the daughters, while being there in the hospital for the sons. What to do?
They asked Rav Ezriel Auerbach, rav of Bayit Vegan in Jerusalem, what to do about mourning the daughters while dealing with the sons situation.
Rav Auerbach paskened that the parents do not have the laws of mourning right now and should not sit shiva. The reason is based on Shulchan Aruch that says someone sick and his attendants are exempt from sitting in a sukka.
Obviously the boys need their parents by their bedsides, and it is clear that of not for the mourning the parents would definitely be there, so they are exempt from all mitzvos and should not now sit shiva. Rav Auerbach added that if they insist on sitting shiva now, the mother should not sit at all but should stay with her children, and the father could sit for just a few minutes after the morning services.
source: Bechadrei
Rav Auerbach did not say, or at least it is not quoted in the article, but I would guess that when the boys get better, IYH, then the parents will need to sit shiva on the daughters.
Such a sad and unfortunately necessary psak.
On Thursday Shimon and Michal Gross buried their daughters while still accompanying their sons in the Schneider Hospital in Petach Tikva.
The dilemma of the situation is that the parents should be sitting shiva for the daughters, while being there in the hospital for the sons. What to do?
They asked Rav Ezriel Auerbach, rav of Bayit Vegan in Jerusalem, what to do about mourning the daughters while dealing with the sons situation.
Rav Auerbach paskened that the parents do not have the laws of mourning right now and should not sit shiva. The reason is based on Shulchan Aruch that says someone sick and his attendants are exempt from sitting in a sukka.
Obviously the boys need their parents by their bedsides, and it is clear that of not for the mourning the parents would definitely be there, so they are exempt from all mitzvos and should not now sit shiva. Rav Auerbach added that if they insist on sitting shiva now, the mother should not sit at all but should stay with her children, and the father could sit for just a few minutes after the morning services.
source: Bechadrei
Rav Auerbach did not say, or at least it is not quoted in the article, but I would guess that when the boys get better, IYH, then the parents will need to sit shiva on the daughters.
Such a sad and unfortunately necessary psak.
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Very sad situation. It begs the question why they even felt it necessary to ask the 'shaila' in the first place. What kind of question is that? Would they really have considered abandoning their life-threatened sick children had the rabbonim told them to stay home?
ReplyDeleteI dont know what they would have done in that situation. my guess is, if they had to, they would sit shiva. just as they "easily" accept with great faith the tragedy, I believe they would do what they have to even if it would be difficult. But its moot since they dont now sit shiva
ReplyDeleteMakes sense. It seems that piqu'ah nefesh taking precedence. I have heard of many cases from rabbanim, and supported by physicians (and vice-versa), that the lowering of anxiety and raising of spirits can contribute to healing. This is actually very old idea, of course, but current science continues to strengthen the argument.
ReplyDeleteOn Shabbath a parent or adult child may ride in the ambulance with the injured/sick patient for the above reason, the fact that the attending person is copping arein on the misswah anyway, aside.