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Dec 12, 2010
Giving Heidi And Mendy The Benefit Of the Doubt
Last week we were all witness to a public display, initially on tv to millions of viewers (I could not find, with just a quick search, specific numbers of how many people watch any given episode of The People's Court, but they are supposedly one of the top rated shows in their time slot in a number of categories), and then on YouTube to thousands of viewers as the video was spread among the Jewish community via email, blogs, twitter, bulletin boards and other forums, to an episode of a frum couple suing a laundromat for $3000 for having damaged a wig that inadvertently got into their bag of laundry. The episode started off benignly enough, each side making good arguments with little proof, but then turned ugly near the end as the "judge" uncovered what looked like a scam and ruled against the frum couple.
Because I posted the video and condemnation originally, so I am posting this now. I tried originally to think how to be dan this couple l'kaf zchus, but could not find a way. Everything they did pointed to a stupid scam that was uncovered at the last minute. Since then I have thought about it and come up with some alternate possibilities.
But first, Vos Iz Neias sent out Rabbi Yair Hoffman to try to track down the couple and speak to them, getting their side of the story.
Here is what Rabbi Hoffman has to say:
Personally, I find his explanation a bit of a stretch, but since it is sort of plausible, they do deserve the benefit of the doubt.
However, I think they do not deserve an apology because regardless of right or wrong they made a tremendous chilul hashem.
They were stupid for trying to resolve this on television. Television shows live and die by the drama, and the Heidi and Mendy couple should have known that they were picked for tv courtroom not because of their beautiful hair (both real and not real) but because their lawsuit had the potential for good daytime tv drama. That meant they could not, should not, be expecting a simple slam dunk case, even if they really felt they were 100% correct, and not pulling a scam.
Whether or not Rabbi Hoffman is correct in his explanation I don't know, but their going on tv to talk about religious Jews spending $3000 on sheitels seems to me to be, in and of itself, a chilul hashem making Jews look pretty pathetic to anyone watching.
Then you get to the arguments and see that they presented absolutely no proof to anything they said, and you wonder what they were building their case on. They talked about a ruined wig worth $3000, but showed no proof that this was the wig. They went to professional to evaluate the damage, but did not get any statements from any of the three they visited. blah blah blah. Watch the video and see they showed no proof of anything they claimed. So I dont know how they expected to win, except based on logic.
The only real alternate explanation I can believe is that this is a tv show and they distorted the case and what actually happened, for the purpose of getting the best drama for ratings purposes. That would be similar to what the mother of a Modern Orthodox model recently claimed about how her daughter had been portrayed on tv with her words being edited and twisted, for the benefit of the television show, and they showed her in a bad light. I can believe that here too something in the show was distorted and edited to create the drama.
So there is room to give them the benefit of the doubt, whether for my simple reason or for Rabbi Hoffmans more detailed investigation, even though they looked lousy on television.
They should still apologize to the Jewish community for making it look stupid, superficial and glitzy (really? $3000 wigs?) and putting themselves in the position to be caught, even if not true, in a scam the way they were.
UPDATE: R' Hoffman from VIN has interviewed Georgie about the incident:
Because I posted the video and condemnation originally, so I am posting this now. I tried originally to think how to be dan this couple l'kaf zchus, but could not find a way. Everything they did pointed to a stupid scam that was uncovered at the last minute. Since then I have thought about it and come up with some alternate possibilities.
But first, Vos Iz Neias sent out Rabbi Yair Hoffman to try to track down the couple and speak to them, getting their side of the story.
Here is what Rabbi Hoffman has to say:
They are known as Mendy and Heidi. And they are a couple that is under some pretty intense scrutiny about a televised court-case involving a wig that was washed at a laundromat. Up until now there has only been one side of the story told.
The majority of people who have seen the case on You-tube have concluded that they are woefully guilty. Halachically, there is an obligation called being “Dan leKaf z’chus” – judging someone favorably until they are proven to be guilty. It is similar to a concept that has made this country great – the idea of “innocent until proven guilty.”
Many people, even those that ostensibly observe Torah law, fail in this critical area. I know that I did. And I feel pretty guilty about it. When I first observed the video I quickly concluded that this couple – Mendi and Heidi were guilty of:
a] pulling some sort of shtick and
b] at the heart of perhaps the greatest Chillul Hashem in 60 years of television history.
c] rather stupidly appearing on court TV
After having spoken to the couple tonight (arranged by VIN News) at length, and after having spoken to the wigmaker, and after having reviewed emails and communications from both Georgie companies – there is not even a question that not only has this couple not been proven guilty of trying to perpetrate a fraud, but the overwhelming evidence from my perception is that they have been completely railroaded.
Is it possible that five parties involved are perpetrating an elaborate charade to make this couple look innocent? Anything is possible – but in my estimation, it is extremely remote. The matter is being investigated further and videotaped, later on this evening, and will be broadcasted as soon as it is feasible. In the meantime, here is their side of the story.
1] The wig that was ruined was not, repeat not a short wig. It is a long wig. If you look carefully at the wig on the Youtube video – you will see that it is a long wig. It looks like a short wig, but it is not.
2] The main impetus of the judge was that this wig she was examining looked like a short wig.
3] The judge never asked if there were two receipts, the first for the ruined one and the second for the one Heidi was wearing. The wigmaker told this author that she charged $3000 in total including highlighting, streaking and cutting (still long though) for the first wig. She charged $1500 for the second wig she was wearing which she gave them AT COST because she felt terrible for them.
4] The judge made phone calls to both Georgie companies. She ascertained from company #1 that Heidi did purchase a wig. She spoke to a woman that worked for company #1 named Sylvia. The office was closed and the phone number was forwarded to her cell phone. The judge asked whether what was sold to Heidi was a short wig or long wig. Sylvia answered a long wig. The judge asked for the receipt number. Sylvia answered that the office was closed.
5] The judge then called the other Georgie company (there was a divorce involved here). The other company said that they do not manufacture that type of wig. An email from company #2 is in file with VIN News.
This author’s preliminary conclusions are:
1] The judge clearly confused both companies thinking they are one. Hopefully this was not done maliciously, but was just sloppy work by the judge.
2] The judge, like I did initially, assumed the damaged wig was a short wig. It is not.
3] The couple, actually it was just the husband, made a very silly decision to appear on court TV. He thought that this was the better way to go because at least this way if there was any money awarded it would not come from the landromat but from the court TV. He had to cajole and convince his wife to appear.
4] Neither the husband nor the wife are the best communicators, and neither of them should be hired as press spokespeople.
In short, a grave mistake was made here by the entire Torah community that lashed out at this couple. These are the preliminary conclusions. As mentioned earlier, the matter is being further investigated and all the evidence is being examined. I personally would like to issue an apology to them.
As just an aside, the woman had donated her previous shaitels to a Tzedaka in Eretz Yisroel.
Personally, I find his explanation a bit of a stretch, but since it is sort of plausible, they do deserve the benefit of the doubt.
However, I think they do not deserve an apology because regardless of right or wrong they made a tremendous chilul hashem.
They were stupid for trying to resolve this on television. Television shows live and die by the drama, and the Heidi and Mendy couple should have known that they were picked for tv courtroom not because of their beautiful hair (both real and not real) but because their lawsuit had the potential for good daytime tv drama. That meant they could not, should not, be expecting a simple slam dunk case, even if they really felt they were 100% correct, and not pulling a scam.
Whether or not Rabbi Hoffman is correct in his explanation I don't know, but their going on tv to talk about religious Jews spending $3000 on sheitels seems to me to be, in and of itself, a chilul hashem making Jews look pretty pathetic to anyone watching.
Then you get to the arguments and see that they presented absolutely no proof to anything they said, and you wonder what they were building their case on. They talked about a ruined wig worth $3000, but showed no proof that this was the wig. They went to professional to evaluate the damage, but did not get any statements from any of the three they visited. blah blah blah. Watch the video and see they showed no proof of anything they claimed. So I dont know how they expected to win, except based on logic.
The only real alternate explanation I can believe is that this is a tv show and they distorted the case and what actually happened, for the purpose of getting the best drama for ratings purposes. That would be similar to what the mother of a Modern Orthodox model recently claimed about how her daughter had been portrayed on tv with her words being edited and twisted, for the benefit of the television show, and they showed her in a bad light. I can believe that here too something in the show was distorted and edited to create the drama.
So there is room to give them the benefit of the doubt, whether for my simple reason or for Rabbi Hoffmans more detailed investigation, even though they looked lousy on television.
They should still apologize to the Jewish community for making it look stupid, superficial and glitzy (really? $3000 wigs?) and putting themselves in the position to be caught, even if not true, in a scam the way they were.
UPDATE: R' Hoffman from VIN has interviewed Georgie about the incident:
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After i watched the video, i also tried to find some justification. I rationalized that they perhaps weren't sure which wig the receipt belonged to, and brought that receipt knowing that "Georgie" was in France, and couldn't prove otherwise.
ReplyDeleteThe story Rabbi Hoffman brings of two different Georgies sounds fishy, and something is unusual there.
The fact that someone can spend $3000 on sheitel doesn't surprise me, but $3000 on a fall sounds like way too much.
I also noticed that the lady said they have been married for 10 years and she only has 2 sheitels. That sounds strange to me for someone who buys $3000 sheitels. usually after 5-8 women tend to buy another shietel, and they can get perfectly acceptable ones at $1000 or less. If they don't have the money to buy shietels in the first place, how come they are buying $3000 falls?! That also sounded a bit strange, but that is circumstantial.
I actually didn't announce them guilty and had a good feeling that something went strange during the judge's research, which this couple did not expect to happen (as i don't think they were scamming anyone).
Based on your comments, i think that they clearly expected it to be a he said/she said case, and didn't think the judge would investigate the origins of the wig. (Notice the fact that the judge was about to hand out a ruling just before she took a recess). That was where they went wrong and were "not very smart in their decision."
In conclusion, i feel bad for them, they are probably getting a really bad rap right now. And these days we tend to have a "can i get on TV?" 15 minutes of fame mantality. We don't always think it through and notice that it could be a smack in the face. I will therefore have to agree with you, that whatever happened, they were stupid for agreeing to go on Court TV in the first place.
oh, looky, word verification: "judish". ironic?
Something so ridiculous comes for all the world to see, that Jewish women spend obnoxious amounts of money on these type of sheitels is a boosha! My instincts say that these only reduce the kedusha of our holy neshomas.
ReplyDeleteWhere is the sensitivity to kedusha and tsnius? It appears to have fallen victim to a desire to look good!
Jewish girls and women should maintain a higher level of modesty than all other females in the world. An excellent personal story on just this topic is in this week's Mishpacha magazine, issue 337, entitled The Mirror, on page 78. A good read for all girls and women.
Agudath Israel reps will tell you which NYT reporters to *never* speak to since they will distort everything. I wouldn't blame the case outcome on "drama" so much as you never know how a court case will conclude. But it's an important point either way - media can distort.
ReplyDeleteat least this way if there was any money awarded it would not come from the landromat but from the court TV
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion this is the best dan lkaf zechut in the story.
The mishna berura says that people are driven to cheat/steal because the women want fancy clothes, jewelery etc, and the men feel pressure to get the money to pay for it. He writes that men need to resist the pressure.
ReplyDeleteI can't pass judgement on these people, but when someone wants 3k$ shaitelach
(this is not a modest some, and probably not a modest shaitel) and the like that can put some pressure on the budget.
I didn't go into this story on my blog, since I just considered it too depressing to comment on.
ReplyDeleteI will however point out (and as a practicing lawyer) that the claim that the wig the judge was holding was long, despite the video showing it to be short, as well as a the judge holding the wig claiming it was short, is just stupidity. These people got caught, and they deserve what they got. On the other hand, considering that their entire scam was only $3000 I'd say they got their fair deserts and we can stop mentioning it.
The short vs. long isn't such an argument - it looked like a damaged wig and when hair gets "fried" by chemicals or heat it shrinks up.
ReplyDeleteIn a real court, if the judge had the patience, it would adjourn so that verification could be complete. People's Court only has an hour to do the shoot.
But they should have prepared better - they didn't express themselves well, they were so sure of their case being right that they didn't get anyone to help them practice. We had a court case and we were 100% right but you better believe we went over the materials and asked many people to suggest questions that might come up. (Case was postponed....)
Your assertions that the couple should apologize for the chillul Hashem of admitting they pay $3000 for a wig is not fair. This kind of things says something about the entire community they live in, not just this one couple. Why do you think Jewish business are charging that much for wigs? Because they know the religious women will pay for it. It says something about Jewish society today that it is considered expected for women to have sheitels that cost thousands of dollars. It is not the fault of this one couple.
ReplyDeleteAs for the claim--if the laundrymat was responsible, it should pay. I mean, I think paying $3000 for a wig is ridiculous, but I also think buying ferraris is ridiculous. But I would understand if someone got their ferrari smashed, why they would want to sue.
Religious Jews have just as much right as anyone else to look stupid on television. But I thought it was telling that they didn't act shocked or abashed by what the judge said. They definitely acted guilty in the end.
If this couple was indeed falsely accused of attempting a scam, shouldn't this be easy to document? The wig shop should have a record of a $3K sale that matches the tags on the damaged wig, no?
ReplyDeleteOr forget the sale - why not just get some reliable testimony that the damaged wig really costs $3K?
Then post it to You Tube and try to do some damage control...
yeah, David, well you would have thought they would have bothered themselves to bring some of that proof to the court case. They didnt bring a single shred of any proof of anything.
ReplyDeleteproving it on youtube afterwards is kind of pointless.
The case is over. They lost, whether they were "right" or not. That's how the legal process works. You have to make your case.
ReplyDeleteBut... with the negative exposure they continue to receive, it's as if they're still "on trial". If it were me, and I was innocent, I'd do what I could to vindicate myself - and try to mitigate the ongoing chilul Hashem.
"Because they know the religious women will pay for it."
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right - a friend of mine got a completely custom, hand-tied, beautifully highlighted, gorgeous long human hair wig direct from China or Hong Kong on ebay for $200. She said she won an auction but their buy-it-now price is something like $350. She just had to send all the specifications to them including cap measurements and colors. And at a price like that you could even get it re-cut later.
Thanks for sharing nice article ...
ReplyDeletewigs
Some new evidence from Georgi - speaking to Rabbi Hoffman
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpMDhdes3PI
I saw the new video..and sorry it just still doesn't make sense to me.
ReplyDeleteThere is a homicidal maniac in Iran that is striving to incinerate Eretz Yisrael. There are fanatical Muslims all over the world whose mission it is to exterminate the Jews. The fact that so many people are dedicating so much time & effort to this wig nonsense is a sad commentary on the state of the Jewish people. This kind of thing, focusing on trivialities instead of attacking major issues has been the curse of Klal Yisroel since the beginning of time, but I guess blogs live and die on high drama just like TV shows.....
ReplyDeleteWhy would you have judge in parenthesis as if it's a matter of oppinion? She is a real judge, OK?
ReplyDeletethe judge is a television judge, not a real courtroom judge. As far as I know (I might be wrong), her status is that of an arbitrator rather than that of a judge
ReplyDeleteNope, you're wrong, she's an actual real judge. This is the case of an arbitrator, but she herself is a real judge. Find her interview with Gayle King on the OWN network by Oprah, she discusses her career before this and how they got her.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, sometimes people lie. Protestants, Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Hindus...yep, there are unsavory characters in all religions; what I find so strange is the lengths people are going to defend them. Watch their faces when the judge reads the verdict. They knew they lied and just wanted to get out of there. This isn't about money or religion; this couple did a bad thing. Period. Trying to defend them is also a bad thing. Just move on and know that most people probably do the right thing, with or without head covers.
ReplyDelete