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Nov 7, 2022
no friends at the wedding
The Admot of Toldos Ahron is concerned over too much bittul torah. To that end he has decided to prohibit students in the Toldos Ahron yeshivas from attending the weddings of their fellow students.
Any change of societal norms has a ripple effect. If 20/50/100 boys dont go to a friends wedding to dance and bring joy to their friend, the effect might be that the wedding might not be a particularly joyous event - some relatives and friends will surely come and dance, but it wont be the same as a slew of yeshiva bochurim and the chosson's friends bringing their energy. So, the Admor added to his decree the formation of a group of people who will go to weddings and be leibidige, bring joy, dance with energy, and make up, somewhat, for the lack of friends from the yeshiva.
The Admor did stress that people should not rely on the "mesamchim" group to be responsible for bringing joy to the chosson - that is an addition, but the family and older friends should make sure to do their part in bringing joy to the married couple at their affair.
According to Kikar, similar rules are already in place in several other Hassidic groups. And, in addition to bittul torah, another issue is that the young men form yeshiva coming to dance often seem to take over the simcha and the family and friends get pushed aside as if they are acquaintances and guests.
Without commenting on the decree itself, it is somewhat sad to think of people getting married and their friends not being able to attend and dance. Let's be honest - us old people dance, some more some less, but the real energy is brought by the younger people. The chosson will probably be bored with just a bunch of old people shuffling around a circle for a bit.
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Labels:
takanos,
Toldos Aharon,
wedding
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One big masmid once told his RY that he felt it was too much bitul torah to go to weddings. Must he go? The RY told him, that no, he needn't go, but neither do they need to go to his.
ReplyDeleteIt could be that since the chassidim get married very young, they are only in Yeshiva for two years or so - and if the whole yeshiva empties out for every wedding, they might never learn at night.
DeleteSimple solution - either you're invited to the whole wedding or you're not invited at all.
ReplyDeleteTo extend the concept further, how much work time is lost, both before a wedding having to leave work early, and the next day being tired and worn out.
ReplyDeleteAnd so I propose, both friends AND family not show up, make a committee of stand-ins to represent us all.
Heck while we're at it, maybe chosson and kallah shouldn't show up either, you're allowed to get married through a shliach you appoint.
That way the chosson and kallah needn’t be all tired, and worn out and all sweaty on their wedding night.
Yup now all is perfect in the world, EXCELLENT!