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Nov 2, 2008
Vote early and, more importantly, Vote Often
I am from Chicago. That should mean that I am an expert at cheating at voting multiple times in an election.
Unfortunately that is not something I ever learned how to do.
I have a unique opportunity. It pretty much fell in my lap, but I have no idea how to use it.
My brother served in the Israeli army. he is not an Israeli citizen. he was a volunteer in the Macha"l program.
He is no longer in the army, nor in Israel. He finished his service, almost a year ago, and went back to the USA.
He used our address as his mailing address, because he was moving between apartments every couple of months, and figured his mail would be safer if it came to us. Most of his mail has been notices about job opportunities in security, bank stuff, and pretty boring stuff.
Until last week, that is. Last week he received a voting notice telling him where his polling booth is in the upcoming Bet Shemesh elections. It must be a mistake, because he is not an israeli citizen, unless there is some rule about former soldiers being allowed to vote. Regardless of whether or not it is a mistake, he is not in the country and therefore will not be actualizing his vote.
This presents a unique opportunity to vote twice in the upcoming elections. Once under my name, and once under his name. The only problem is I have no idea how to pose as him, considering I do not have any identification of his.
So, instead of my using his ticket to vote twice, I have decided to take advantage of this opportunity in a different way. I am offering to sell his voting ticket to the highest bidder. You have no comittment to vote for any specific person or party. Just leave your bid in the comments, even anonymously, and let me know how much you would be willing to pay for the ability to vote twice. Afterwards you can contact me by email to actualize the purchase!
NOTE: Being that it is illegal to partake in election fraud, and I have no interest in being arrested over this, I hereby present this disclaimer stating that the offer to sell his voting ticket was humurous in nature and is not a real offer. Though it is true that I received a voting notice for him in the mail.
Unfortunately that is not something I ever learned how to do.
I have a unique opportunity. It pretty much fell in my lap, but I have no idea how to use it.
My brother served in the Israeli army. he is not an Israeli citizen. he was a volunteer in the Macha"l program.
He is no longer in the army, nor in Israel. He finished his service, almost a year ago, and went back to the USA.
He used our address as his mailing address, because he was moving between apartments every couple of months, and figured his mail would be safer if it came to us. Most of his mail has been notices about job opportunities in security, bank stuff, and pretty boring stuff.
Until last week, that is. Last week he received a voting notice telling him where his polling booth is in the upcoming Bet Shemesh elections. It must be a mistake, because he is not an israeli citizen, unless there is some rule about former soldiers being allowed to vote. Regardless of whether or not it is a mistake, he is not in the country and therefore will not be actualizing his vote.
This presents a unique opportunity to vote twice in the upcoming elections. Once under my name, and once under his name. The only problem is I have no idea how to pose as him, considering I do not have any identification of his.
So, instead of my using his ticket to vote twice, I have decided to take advantage of this opportunity in a different way. I am offering to sell his voting ticket to the highest bidder. You have no comittment to vote for any specific person or party. Just leave your bid in the comments, even anonymously, and let me know how much you would be willing to pay for the ability to vote twice. Afterwards you can contact me by email to actualize the purchase!
NOTE: Being that it is illegal to partake in election fraud, and I have no interest in being arrested over this, I hereby present this disclaimer stating that the offer to sell his voting ticket was humurous in nature and is not a real offer. Though it is true that I received a voting notice for him in the mail.
Labels:
bet shemesh,
election,
fraud,
humor,
vote
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We have a similar situation. My sister-in-law is abroad, is an Israeli citizen, and used our address to get her driver's license. We still have the license, and received her voting card. (Since I'm not from Chicago, though, I just threw out her card.)
ReplyDeleteAny resident can vote in the municipal elections. You don't have to be a citizen.
ReplyDeleteAs for the opportunity to cheat, if you really want to I'm sure it can be done.
risa - really? you don't need to be a citizen? I did not know that.
ReplyDeleteyoni - what a wasted opportunity
3 men in a sinking row boat--a mathematician, a minister and Mayor Daley. The math. calculates that with just the weight of one of them, the boat can make it back to shore. 2 have to jump out into the ocean. The minister argues--not me, I am a man of G-d with a lot of souls to save. Mayor D, as only a politician can, argues they should take a vots which 2 men should go overboard. Daley won, 8 votes to 2.
ReplyDeleteopa - lol
ReplyDeleterisa - I spoke to some people. they qualified what you said. you cannot vote just if you are living here. you also need to have some sort of status other than tourist. Plenty of people living here are on tourist or student visas. If you are a "permanent resident" status you can vote even though you are technically not a citizen. The status you get from serving n the army, whatever it is (I have to ask my brother) is enough for voting in municipal elections...
I was going to say, "are you kidding?" But you were, so I won't.
ReplyDeleteRafi,
ReplyDeleteIf you saw the candidate list in Modiin, you wouldn't think it was such a wasted opportunity.