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Jul 5, 2009

Prison Consultant? Really?

Everything is relative.

Bernie Madoff has hired a "prison consultant" to help him figure out in which prison he would be best off serving the next 150 years of his life.

Baruch Hashem, I did not even know there was even such a profession as "prison consultant" until now. I also did not know that prisoners get to choose which prison they want to spend their time in.

One would think it does not make much of a difference. the courts will put him in a prison of a certain type and security level, and all prisons of that type must be pretty similar (within a range, of course).

I guess if you are going to spend the next 150 years of your life in the same place, even those minor differences make a difference, and best to get the best possible location in advance.

Whose money from the Ponzi scheme did you use to hire your prison consultant? More power to you, Bernie. I hope you choose wisely and enjoy as much as possible your next 150 years...


  1. I also commented on this:

  2. "Do the blue plaid drapes clash with the black bars? Or should I go for something art deco altogether?"

  3. From what I have read, due to the length of the sentence (not that I think it is not warranted) he will likely be placed in a maximum security prison or even, for his own safety, a supermax- meaning that conditions will be well below those of a "standard" white collard crook. However terrible his crime, it looks like he is to be locked up with the most violent of criminals- and I am not so sure that putting him with rapists and murderers and terrorists is the right answer (although I am not sure what the other options are- I think I would prefer a medium level security prison in his future- where all aspects of every day are regimented, inmates work, and it is just the same thing, day in and day out, for the rest of his natural life- certainly not a "camp cupcake"- like setting a la Martha).

  4. Why not simply put up a chain link fence enclosure somewhere in the Secaucus garbage dump and let him live off of food scraps there the rest of his life. Lost cost. Low maintenance. No one will want to take a moment of that away from him.

  5. Someone told me this today:

    How many years did Madoff get? 150.

    His name in Hebrew letters:





    (sorry if already told)

  6. I had not heard that. strange. kinda makes you want to have a short, low lettered name. just in case.

  7. That's an interesting career choice. Look at that- I'm in the wrong field! ;-)


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